coffee table 1, Owen nil

in case it doesn't get published

In The Other Paper, the movie review referred to the film Bride and Prejudice as a "welcome rendition of Victorian literature".

To which I responded with:

Dear Editor,
Hope Madden may want to take a refresher course on either European History or English Literature.

Jane Austen lived from 1775-1817. She died two years before Queen Victoria was born. Her works, including Pride and Prejudice (published in 1813), were written during what is commonly referred to as the Regency Period in England, when King George III fell ill and his son, the Prince of Wales ruled in his stead.

Just because the people talk funny and wear fancy dresses in a book doesn't mean it's Victorian.

Sincerely,
Me

random snippet of conversation

Just now, overheard at my house.

Christopher, looking up from Stuff Magazine:

It says here that if someone is too embarrassed or cheap to buy a decent vibrator, they can always buy an electric toothbrush.

Me:
EEEEWWWWWWWW.

Christopher:
Well, obviously, they'd have to buy TWO electric toothbrushes.

i can make today be a good day

Today I will get things done that need to be done.

I can cope with the fact that the baby is refusing to let me get said things done.

I will not be frustrated at the things that I cannot get done.

These things, although needing to be done, rank very low on the importance of things in the universe.

Now I feel better.

band name

If I started a band I would call it The Shrinking Violets.

butt floss

While at my sister's last weekend, I ended up needing to do a load of laundry. No big surprise there with the baby and the limited packing I try to do for short weekend trips. We had a diaper failure and I had to wash some things.

Anyway, as I'm putting our clothes in the dryer, I feel around the bottom of the agitator because the wee baby socks tend to lodge under it and I didn't want to miss anything.

I pull out, I SWEAR TO GOD the SMALLEST pair of undies I have ever seen. A thong (which my sister tends to wear exclusively now). But not just any thong. A teeny, tiny, Victoria's Secret butt-flossy string thong with this itsy bitsy triangle of fabric in the front.

Dude, that AIN'T underwear. Underwear actually covers something.

I'm not just jealous of the fact that her tiny ass doesn't really need a lot of coverage. I've got smallish, low-rise underwear that I adore. And I appreciate the concept of the thong. I hate panty lines as much as the next person. However, if I don't want panty lines, I wear full coverage undies or I go without. I've tried a thong. I bought a lovely Body by Victoria thong a while back just to try. It was the longest day of my life. Every second tortured by the burning itch in the crack of my ass that was THE THONG.

Also, I know that my sister would need a Brazilian wax to wear this thing and my mind just doesn't want to go there.