how meta is this?

Blogging about blogging?

I'm twittering regularly and since the tweets are tied to my Facebook status, it looks like I update my FB status five times a day. People are probably thinking I'm online for endless hours but that's not true. I get on in the morning and check three sites.

Then I get the kids up, dressed and ready for school. I don't get a good long sit down at the computer until the afternoon or until after the kids are in bed. I want to blog more but honestly, it's sort of difficult narrowing down topics.

Things start to run together and I don't want an endless stream of posts that sound like diary entries. It's hard to stay focused.

I'm going to work on it, though because I need the writing practice.

Fan Gurl

I'm developing a distasteful fan gurlie squeee over Twilight. I'm working my way through shame and into acceptance.

But I need to get my mind off the sparkly vampire so I can work on my next newspaper column.

You're not the boss of me

My three year old has developed an especially mature sense of entitlement. Her chief joy in life seems to be telling me what to do.

I'm sure this is age appropriate behavior and a way of developing her independence but it's a giant pain the ass. Every day at least a half dozen tasks become a pissing contest between the two of us.

It's entirely different than with Owen. Even with his communication issues, once he understood what was expected of him or the problem, he usually relented. Olivia understands more but she just refuses to accept any sort of compromise.

It's her way or nothing. I spoke about this to my mother-in-law who got a good laugh. She says Liv gets it from her and that it doesn't get any easier.

it's been a while...

We've moved to Wisconsin. It was a big move but it turned out well.

we need equality. kinda now.

So Joss is writing the script and directing a film vesion of Wonder Woman. That makes me squeeee.

On YouTube.Com, you can see a tribute to Joss Whedon's Mother and why he writes strong female characters. And why I'm a stark raving fan gurl.

For anyone not wanting to see the video, I've stolen the transcript from someone with more time on their hands than I have.

On the Road to Equality
Honoring Men On the Front Lines
May 15, 2006




MERYL STREEP: Mothers are often the vanguard of cultural institutions and transformation. And tonight, as well as paying tribute to Joss Whedon and the wonderful female characters that he's created, we'd like to pay special tribute to his mother, the late Lee Sterns.



Camera cuts to a black and white still. The caption reads:

Lee Stearns
1936-1992




MERYL STREEP continues: Uh, it's nice when children credit their mothers for their success, and I've heard a lot about Lee, whose radical ideas about women's strength, and independence, and passion, and empathy inspired Joss to create not only Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but many other strong women characters in Firefly, in Serenity and his other work.

Lee Stearns also inspired the creation of this organization, Equality Now, which was co-founded by Jessica Neuwirth, one of her—one of Lee's favorite High School students. She would have been very proud of you Jessica, and Joss, for all you've done and continue to do, and uh, her spirit is here with us, tonight.

Joss also has an extremely energetic and ubiquitous fan base, that's organized fundraisers across the country for Equality Now, his superhero's favorite charity. So, it's my great—great pleasure to introduce our special honoree, Joss Whedon, the wonderful man who's about to bring us Wonder Woman. We commend him for his outstanding contribution to equality in film and television.

Ladies and gentlemen: Mr. Joss Whedon.


[Applause from audience; Streep greets Joss with a kiss]



JOSS WHEDON: Thank you, I-I didn't know um when I came here tonight, that that was going to happen. Um...no I knew I'd be here—the part about my mother—and I just want to thank Meryl Streep and everybody for-for speaking so eloquently about her.

I'm surrounded, tonight, by people of extraordinary courage. And I know a thing or two about courage myself, because I read a book with some courage in it, one time, and...uh...sounds really like a lotta work, um so I'll just keep writing. Um. I write. Uh, the most courageous thing I've ever done is something called a press junket, um, uh, which is actually pretty courageous, believe me, because they ask you the same questions over and over and over. And over and over and over.

Um...I've done as many as 48 in a day—these interviews, and they really—they don't come up with the fresh stuff. So, there is one question that I've been asked almost every time I've been interviewed, so I thought tonight, briefly, I would share with you one question, and a few of my responses, because when you're asked something 500 times, you really start to think about the answer.

So now I will become a reporter. It's going to be amazing—the transformation.

[Italics indicate when Joss is speaking as the imaginary reporter]

So, Joss, I—a reporter—would like to know, why do you always write these strong women characters?

I think it's because of my mother. She really was an extraordinary, inspirational, tough, cool, sexy, funny woman. And that's the kind of woman I've always surrounded myself with—it's my friends—particularly my wife, who is not only smarter and stronger than I am, but occasionally—actually—taller too. But only sometimes—taller. And, uh, I think it all goes back to my mother.

So, why do you write these strong women characters?

[Laughter from audience]


Because of my father—

[Laughter from audience]


My father and my step-father had a lot do with it, because they prized wit and resolve in the women they were with—above all things, and they were among the rare men who understood that recognizing somebody else's power does not diminish your own. When I created Buffy, I wanted to create a female icon but I also wanted to be very careful to surround her with men who not only had no problem with the idea of a female leader, but were in fact, engaged and even attracted to the idea. That came from my father and step-father, the men who created this man, who created those men, if you can follow that...

So, why do you create these strong...

[Joss-as-reporter adopts a not-quite-French accent]

how you say—the women...

[aside] I'm in Europe, now, so it's a...it's a very—it's international—I don't know where, though...

[reverts to accent that's now more not-quite-Spanish]

...the strong women characters?

Well, because these stories give people strength, and I've heard it from a number of people, and I've felt it myself. And it's not just women; it's men. And I think there is something particular about a female protagonist that allows a man to identify with her— that opens up something that he might—an aspect of himself that he might be unable to express—hopes and desires that he might be uncomfortable expressing through a male identification figure, so it really crosses across both—and I think it really helps people, you know, in that way.

So, why do you create these strong women characters?

[Laughter from audience]


'Cause they're hot.

[Laughter from audience]


But...these strong women character—

WHY are you even ASKING me THIS?

[aside] This is like interview number 50 in a row.

Wh—How is it possible that this is even a question? Honestly? Seriously? Why are you ask—why did you write that down? Why do you—wha— why aren't you asking a hundred other guys why they don't write strong women characters?

[Applause from audience]


I believe that what I'm doing should not be remarked upon, let alone honored, and there are other people doing it. But seriously, this question is ridiculous. And you've just got to stop.

[Laughter from audience]


So...

[Over continuing laughter]


...Why do you write these strong women characters?

Because—equality is not a concept. It's not something we should be striving for. It's a necessity. Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women. And the misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance, and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and woman who is confronted with it.

We need equality. Kinda now.

[Applause from audience]


So, why do you write these strong female characters?

Because you're still asking me that question.

[Over the applause from audience]


Thank you very much for including me tonight. Thank you all.

icing or frosting?

Whichever. I opened up a can today. It was going to go bad. I couldn't just toss it? Right?

Right?

*sigh*

an open letter to Britney Spears

Dearest Britney,

I'm so sorry about your troubles with the media. But listen, Honey. You didn't get filthy rich just by singing and shaking your ass. You're a celebrity. And that's a little different than just a singer. People eat that shit up. They love watching you and reading about you. You get paid a lot of money because of it.

I'm sorry if it cuts into your "me" time or that frequently, you and your husband look like stupid hicks. But if you want people to stop cutting on you--quit giving them reasons to do it.

You sound like an utter moron. And do yourself a BIG favor. Learn to give a fucking interview for fuck's sake. Try, just once to complete a sentence without the words, "like" or "you know". You're going to have to teach your child to speak English someday.

thank you, willie

Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other.

Puerto Rico, I'm sorry I'm such an ass.

I was under the completely mistaken view that because Puerto Rico is an extension of the US that it would somehow seem...well...more USian. It's more typically Caribbean with extremes of haves and have nots. And a lot of the balconies look like wrought iron bird cages.

I'm ashamed at my complete and utter ignorance. I now have a burning desire to learn to speak Spanish.

I'm really, really glad we didn't just stay at the resort that hosted Christopher's conference. We flew in early and spent two nights at a cheap hotel in San Juan (close to the beach). That gave us a much more realistic view of the city and the island, I think.

I'm also glad I found a chupacabra t-shirt for The Cross Chihuahua.

are they made from real Girl Scouts?

Oh, it's that time of year. Thin mints and Do-si-dos!!!!

I can eat them until I'm quite literally sick.

underworld evolution

Having seen a video clip of Kate Beckinsale and Scott Speedman's sex seen in Underworld Evolution, I can only say, "MEEP."

Also, Ken Wiseman must really like watching his wife have sex. But hey, who doesn't?

it slips away too fast

Every morning when I go in to get Owen out of his crib, he smiles and raises his arms. I then pick him up, hug him and sit for a few minutes, rocking him in the chair by the window.

He's a toddler now, his body is growing long. But when his head is on my shoulder and his hands are around my neck he still feels like my baby.

He'll shift sometimes, to sit snuggled at my side while we rock and he'll smile at me and giggle if I tickle him and just say things like, "Good morning" and "Would you like some breakfast?"

The time is flying. In a few weeks, we'll have an infant to take care of and he's going to have to share his mom and dad and limited amount of attention we have to give. But I hope he realizes that our love has no limits. My heart swells every time I see him and every time I feel him.

There were times, pre-parenthood, when I used to want to feel like a kid again. Like I was being taken care of, protected and that some rational adult somewhere was going to worry about the bills and the house and cooking dinner. But now, I don't think like that. The feeling of holding your child and being the one to take care of them and protect and love them is greater than that feeling of security I had when I was the child.

There really is nothing quite like it in the world. I have YEARS of this ahead of me but I know someday the kids will be grown and gone and I'll just have the memories of these moments. They're strong enough to last.

my list of movies

Films that I really really wanted to see in an actual theatre setting include:

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Syriana
Brokeback Mountain
Good Night and Good Luck
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
Pride & Prejudice
Underworld: Evolution
Walk the Line

Walk the Line is the only one I've managed to see. And my time for watching movies in a theatre is fast disappearing.

I don't even know if P&P is still showing in theatres around here. *sigh* I think I'm going to take one night this week and see Underworld. Yes, it's probaby the crappiest--and the worst choice of all of these to see but I really want to see Kate Beckinsale in leather and latex. I'd brave even the cheesiest crap for that.

And I should go see Brokeback Mountain because it's probably the best of these choices. The rest can wait for Netflix, I guess.

pink

I never thought I'd be the mom with the pink baby girl. Seriously--I wanted to NOT instill this social pressure on an infant who didn't really know any better. I swore I'd not buy cutesy, fluffy pink baby clothes for my daughter.

And I haven't.

Only, in accepting the wonderfully generous, donated baby clothes from my girl friends, I've ended up with an entirely pink wardrobe for the new baby. There is A LOT of it. And I mean A LOT. I think the girl will be able to wear a pink sleeper every day for a month and never wear the same one twice.

The stuff is all GORGEOUS, mind you. AND FREE. Did I mention free? I was given these high quality, hardly used (nay--some of them are BRAND NEW WITH TAGS!) baby clothes and I love them. I'm truly in love with the tiny sweaters--the red one with the pink & white heart and the pink one with the fleece bunny on the chest. I'm done for. The flowers and hearts and bunnies have killed me with their cute.

I think I may have to back down on my original assertions that I wouldn't try to gender-program my kid through clothes.

officially huge

With three weeks left to go I'm officially GINORMOUS.

You know that scene in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when Violet Beauregarde blows up and the Oompa Loompas roll her bloated ass away? That's happening to me. I just lack the Oompa Loompas and the stunning blue color.

r.i.p. toaster

From day one, this toaster ran hot. I mean it frequently burned toast on the lower settings.

So maybe it was stainless steel and had a cute little beeping alarm that announced when the toast was (over)done. $25 down the drain. Literally, since Christopher had to drown the damn thing when it CAUGHT ON FIRE.

Fuck it. Must buy new toaster.

glow little firefly, glow!

There was a Firefly marathon on Sci-fi a few days ago. I insisted on tuning in and watching them.

Christopher asked me why, when I have all the episodes on DVD and can watch them commercial free.

I told him that it's fun to watch them on television so I can pretend the show is still on. *sigh*

Yes, I'm that pathetic.

a quiet beginning

2005 wasn't that bad for a year. The only complaints I have are political but that can all be rectified in 2006.

We quietly slipped from one year to the next while watching a Netflix DVD (Serenity--Christopher hadn't seen it and I wanted to see it again). He enjoyed it very much. So much so that we pulled out the Firefly series DVDs and sat and watched two more episodes.

Christopher's now pointing out lines as "Classic Joss Whedon" and that pleases me. The film didn't do was well as the studio wanted so there won't be a sequel--which means the end of the story and the characters. Sad, that, but Joss has some films in the hopper--namely a Wonder Woman film.

With all this movie work, I'm wondering if he'll ever go back to doing television. I just don't know. He did a lot of great things for the industry and for television writing in general. His stable of writers has scattered to the winds and hopefully is out there trying to make television smarter and funnier for us all.

On other fronts, we are now mini van drivers. Well, we own a minivan that I drive. Christopher says a little piece of him dies every time he gets behind the wheel. With a second child on the way, really, it was time. But it has a 6 disc changer and a DVD system, stow & go seating and power doors. It's really very comfy and drives nicely. I'm pleased as hell to have it so I know I'm no longer cool.

Financially, we're not quite where we want to be but we're still in a decent position. Christopher continues to advance in his career and will hopefully be richly rewarded for all his hard work this Spring.

I'm happy and healthy and in love with my kid (soon to be kids). I'm enjoying my life to its full extent and I don't think I could ask for anything more than that.

my uncle is dying

I'm sad for my mom. He's a very nice guy and I am very fond of him.

My mom's family is tightly knit. This will be the first sibling they've lost since 1969 when Ernie died in Vietnam. The remaining 11 brothers and sisters are very close to each other and they are all living in the same area. Jack's the second oldest at 66. Mom's just two years younger than he is.

Jack found his colon cancer a while ago and he's been fighting it. But it was found awfully late and it spread EVERYWHERE. The worst is that it's gotten into his lungs and bones and he decided early this year to discontinue with chemo, since it wasn't going to prolong his life that much.

My twin sister went to see him yesterday and he did recognize her but he's down to about 100lbs and they've brought the hospice people in. He'd finally got an I.V. and a catheter and they're going to keep him on the morphine to keep him comfortable.

Hopefully, it will all be over in a few days. I'd hate for him to linger any longer than he has to. He was a tree trimmer most of his life so he really hated losing the ability to go outdoors. When I saw him this past summer, he insisted on walking out to the garden to pick me some of his tomatoes and cucumbers--even though it took a lot out of him to walk that far. He made sure his wife picked out a baby gift for the new baby and gave it to us at Thanksgiving--he said he knew he wasn't going to be around when she's born so he wanted to give it to me now.

i'm horrible at getting by

I have to admit it. I'm awful at budgeting. I'm shamefully short-sighted and when it comes back to bite me in the ass, I can only worry and fret and stress.

I should be better at this. I should be able to cut corners and give up luxuries--hello! digital cable, anyone? *sigh*

I should suspend the netflix account, cut the cable to the bone, cancel the magazine subscriptions and learn to spend less than $150 a week at the grocery store.

I suck.

exciting saturday night

Sick and cranky baby is finally in bed.

Christopher's playing Prince of Persia on X-Box.

I'm trolling the internet on what is proving to be an incredibly slow night for all my usual haunts.

But I did find a place where I can order red licorice pipes for Christopher.

cosmic shit convergence

The shit's converging.

I'm tired. The baby's been sick all week and I'm not coping well. Now it feels like I'm coming down with it. Sore throat and headache added on to the growing discomfort of this pregnancy.

Fuck.

I'd curl up in a ball and cry if it didn't feel like I was getting punched from the inside and my hips wouldn't go numb from lying on my side for more than five minutes.

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

how nice of them to offer...

I spent the weekend with my sisters and my FiL insisting on carrying Owen for me everywhere we went.

Um, yeah. It's not that I don't appreciate the offers. My FiL is VERY VERY insistent--saying, "Don't pick up the boy! I'll get him!" or "Give him to me, I'll carry him!"

A) I'm pregnant, not paralyzed.

B) Owen is still pretty clingy to me and trying to peel him off me when he's clinging to me like a monkey will only make him cry.

C) As nice as it is to have a little relief, the one trip across the parking lot at Wal-Mart or to Wendy's isn't going to negate the fact that I have to hoist his 30 lb. butt about FOUR HUNDRED TIMES A DAY when nobody else is around.

Thanks, though.


Oh, and if my FiL tells me ONE more time that "Christopher needs to loosen up the straps" on Owen's car seat, he's getting strangled with the belt. Really. He comments EVERY single time he tries to buckle the straps. I say "tries" because he can never figure them out and always gets them twisted around. Which may lead to them becoming tighter than I normally have them.

A) Christopher doesn't know how to adjust the straps. I do.

B) Owen's not crying or complaining, so it's not too tight.

C) It's SUPPOSED to be tight to prevent him from getting hurt in case of an accident.

I think MiL is wise to this, though, because this past weekend when FiL said it, she said, "Tom, I think they're supposed to be tight."

Um, yeah.

screening serenity

Well, I knew it was coming. I'd read the spoilers. I submitted to the lure of the blogging bribe and took the chance to see the film early and for free.

I feel hollow inside. I laughed, I cried and yet I can't help but think that Firefly will never be as complete and perfect for me ever again.

For non-fans, I think the film was as good as could be. It's probably a lot wordier than most sci-fi action adventure films but that didn't appear to put off any of the people in the theatre with me tonight. There was a great deal of laughter. And the pace of the action is pitch perfect. I shredded a popcorn bag during all the chase scenes.

And for this fan...well, this bitter, bitter fan...it's just like the moment I discovered that Santa doesn't exist but that I was still going to get presents. A little of the magic has worn away but it doesn't diminish the feeling I have for the holiday.

This is as good a film as Joss could put out there. It was his words, his story--and there's allegory and subtext enough to keep fans busy parsing for years (and hopefully there will be a sequel). Even on his teeny budget, with a relatively unknown cast he's got the story and pictures up there to capture us all with his charm and wit.

There were things I didn't like about the movie. I'm white-fonting the spoilers, just in case anyone reads this *The Mr. Universe character...and of course the death of WASH (*sob*). Whereas Book's death served a purpose--to drive home the point that Mal had to take a stand--Wash's was more for shock effect. More proof to his fans that no character is safe--no matter how beloved.* End spoilery white font

The things I liked were pretty obvious. The full cast fitting so nicely into well-worn characters. The words--all of Joss' pretty, pretty words. And the action--chase scenes were well timed. I loved to hear the people laughing all around me at just the exact right moments. And Summer Glau. Oh, how I love Summer Glau. River was always more of an annoyance to me in the series but she is all Grace in the movie. And she made a heck of a lot more sense.

*sigh* I just hate the fact that it's time to grow up. To leave behind something that was beautiful and funny that came into my life. But these kinds of pleasures are fleeting.

And yeah, I'm still bitter as shit that all we get is an hour and forty minutes of movie rather than 22 hours of a series.

joss gets interviewed by TIME magazine!

Except, you know...could they have at least SPELLED HIS NAME CORRECTLY IN THE TITLE??

*sigh*

He's been called "Josh Whedon", "John Swedon" that "Josh Guy Who Made Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and everything in between. I guess "Joss Wedon" isn't the worst.

11 Days until Serenity.

catching firefly

I've been pleasantly surprised at the amount of publicity the Firefly movie, Serenity is getting on major networks during hit shows (THANK YOU, LOST!!!).

It's giving me hope that the film will succeed beyond anyone's (including my own fertile) imagination.

Joss Whedon can win over non-Buffy, Angel and Firefly fans. People who've never heard of Buffy the Vampire Slayer will see this movie and marvel at the incredible dialog. The man's a fucking genius and I want everyone to know it.

rabid Whedon fangurl that I am

Not like it's any surprise but I'm plugging the Firefly movie Serenity.

From the film's website:

Joss Whedon- the Oscar(r)- and Emmy-nominated writer/director responsible for the worldwide television phenomena of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel-now applies his trademark compassion and wit to a small band of galactic outcasts 500 years in the future in his feature film directorial debut, Serenity.

The film centers around Captain Malcolm Reynolds, a hardened veteran (on the losing side) of a galactic civil war, who now ekes out a living pulling off small crimes and transport-for-hire aboard his ship, Serenity. He leads a small, eclectic crew who are the closest thing he has left to family - squabbling, insubordinate and undyingly loyal.

When Mal takes on two new passengers-a young doctor and his unstable, telepathic sister-he gets much more than he bargained for. The pair are fugitives from the coalition dominating the universe, who will stop at nothing to reclaim the girl. The crew that was once used to skimming the outskirts of the galaxy unnoticed find themselves caught between the unstoppable military force of the Universal Alliance and the horrific, cannibalistic fury of the Reavers, savages who roam the very edge of space. Hunted by vastly different enemies, they begin to discover that the greatest danger to them may be on board Serenity herself.

Serenity is written and directed by Joss Whedon; produced by Barry Mendel; and executive-produced by Christopher Buchanan, David Lester and Alisa Tager.

gmail

I have 100 gmail invitations. I don't even know 100 people. And I gave up on the give away sites long ago. So they will sit to the left of my inbox and mock me with my not-knowing-enough-people-to-be-cool-ness.

things that are not such a good idea

Indulging in a craving for lemonade whilst battling a raging torrent of fire that is heartburn.

My esophagus hurts.

the internet is a cold and lonely place

Why am I so bereft when my favorite sites go down? It's not like I don't have other things to do: Netflix DVD's, new library books--hell, even plain, old t.v.

And yet, I click "refresh" like a lab rat and am disappointed.

two little words

They come out clear as a bell from that tiny mouth.

"Cat" in reference to the evil, hairy beast that refuses to stay out of Owen's way, and yet will nip and try to swat him when he clumsily lands on some part of the cat's body. Tough, says I. Either move--you're faster and more coordinated than my little man--or suffer his attentions.

I'm totally enforcing this.

"Baby" repeating after me whenever I call him this. Although, to be fair, he won't hold that title for very much longer. But when he says it back to me, my heart clenches.

no more political discussions with Christopher

We have to agree to disagree on a lot of things. We tend to agree on the big stuff, but really, he's still holding on to the dream that this clusterfuck in Iraq is going to result in the establishment of one or more democratic states in the Middle East.

Call me short sighted but I don't think the cost/benefit ratio is in our favor.

I'm not saying the concept of democracy in the Middle East isn't a noble dream--it would be lovely if it weren't for the messy death and destruction it takes to get there. Not to mention the high ideals tend to get pushed aside by the corruption of the war profiteers. So, while I agree that Saddam Hussein was an evil, murdering despot, I don't think the power vacuum we created in Iraq is a better situation.

And lying to the American people to get us there is indefensible.

I just hope history remembers to vilify Bush enough and he doesn't get the Reagan death-bed sainthood.

nausea and exhaustion

This first trimester shit is harder to take than the discomfort of the last three weeks of pregnancy.

I'm so tired during the day, I just take the baby into the back yard and let him play while I sit my ever-widening ass on the patio chair and try to watch him close enough that he doesn't swallow any rocks.

And the television fast food commercials are nauseating to me now. I can't watch a Sonic commercial without running for the loo. *sigh*